On Borderless Oceans and Frozen

“Spirit take me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters,
Wherever You would call me.”

(Oceans, by Hillsong)

Lately God has been teaching me more and more about following Him, no matter what it looks like to me. It’s Him I’m following, and, as long as I can see Him, why should I worry about what’s in front of Him? To do so takes my eyes off of what’s really important and puts them on the things I can’t control anyway.

To walk where there is no borders. In a move that was very, very far from anything I had planned, I signed up for another three month internship at Hope City. While this was something that I did not really have a lot of personal desire to do, it has been made extremely clear to me that this is where God wants me to be for the next several months. For example, Bryce and I worked and saved for over a year to get the money for the first track of the internship, and still needed to raise support. This track, thanks to the generosity if a few people, has been totally paid for- both the internship itself and my expenses while I am here.

Speaking of provision, my husband and I just had the opportunity to attend One Thing, a year end conference and celebration put out by IHOP in Kansas City. Through a string of events that I can’t even begin to understand other than God providing, we were able to get our entire hotel stay and conference tickets and a very good meal for free. Without asking for any of that. While we could have paid for them if needed, it is a huge blessing, as it helps his budget stretch just that much further. Thank You God!!! He cares about even the little things!

I find through these experiences that I feel like my fear, my worry, my timidity is breaking off like shedding a stone cocoon. Or like Elsa shedding her queen finery in that famous scene in Frozen. (Yes, you may now sing “Let it Go” loudly, unless you’re in a public place. Then scream it 🙂 ) I feel like I am being reborn, exposed for what I really am. And that has lots of both good and bad things. But, I am willing to face the humiliation and the joy, in order to be closer to my Savior.

To walk on water, on a great expanse. With no concept of where the end point is, of where the next step is beyond the one that brings you closer to the Beloved. Is there any greater joy?

Lord, draw us ever closer to You!!!

Of Icebergs and Doves

(Continuing my weekly blog from Hope City. Sorry the writing is a little rough this week- I’m having a hard time putting this one into words, but want to share it anyway.)

This week, I was in our prayer room thinking about God, and I saw life as a trip walking across water- walking in faith. And, that, on that water, there are icebergs- large ones. These icebergs get in the way of our walk, and then we have no choice but to force us to detour, or to walk over them, both options of which leads to the iceberg, which I saw as the lies we believe, being our foundation, instead of faith. But, God’s love and our love of Him is great warmth, and it breaks apart the iceberg, even as the water of faith laps at the iceberg and erodes it to nothing. Faith and God’s love lead us forward in life, so that we can walk, unhindered by the obstacles in our lives and minds, so that we can see Him, see the truth. Internal obstacles are far stronger than external obstacles, but God overcomes all!!! Keep walking in a foundation of faith, not lies- lies get you nowhere except circling an iceberg.

Another thing I was thinking this week that I’d like to share- I’ve been feeling lately that the things I pray just aren’t ‘getting through’ into heaven- like the gates are shut to me. And that can be frustrating, especially being surrounded by people who don’t have that problem. And I saw that, while it is not yet my time to enter as much into heaven as I desire to, my prayers, my spirit are entering like doves flying through the bars of a gate. He hears our prayers, even if it does not seem that way to us. He hears. (The only thing that gets in the way is unforgivenese, so be sure to forgive everyone!!)

Thank You God for hearing us, and for giving us Your foundation to walk on!

Sweet Community, or lessons from a kitchenaid

Making Swiss Merengue Buttercream is always a slightly nerve-wreaking process.  It involves combining egg whites with sugar to a precise temperature without actually cooking the eggs or burning the sugar, in a completely grease free environment, beating the tar out of it, then, adding the very thing you were trying so hard to avoid- grease (butter).  Adding it very slowly, because if it’s too early or too fast, you’ll destroy the whole thing.  (At that point I’m usually praying, please, please work out.  I didn’t add enough overhead on this cake price to pay for another 4 # of butter….)  And, for a while, it looks horrible.  It gets totally runny, a chunk of butter or two may go flying across the kitchen, and it looks hopeless.  Then, all of the sudden, it comes together and its gloriously beautiful, glossy, silky buttercream!!!   ….sigh of relief…..

 

So what’s the point?  As I was making buttercream today, I was struck by how much like community and the body of Christ it is.  Having spent the last several years in a close community environment, I have seen lots of the good and bad that can come out of that.  And it’s something that seems impossible and shouldn’t work for so many different reasons.  Like the egg whites and sugar, it starts off with people that get along well, yet still have to go through hard things together until they are doing well, which is right about the time that someone that is something they don’t get along with too well gets added into the mix….   And it takes time to rejoin the community and create a unified whole again.  Sometimes it just doesn’t work.  I don’t think it’s supposed to be that way, but sometimes it is.  And it’s costly when it doesn’t work.  It can totally destroy the community, or sometimes it can be salvaged.  But it’s never the same- there’s always a little scar where that person or group was- a sadness that it couldn’t be worked out.

 

But, sometimes, it works out!!!  The conflicting people come together, learn to work together with their differences and all, and WOW!  Beautiful, smooth, lovely community, with the whole so much greater than the parts.  Sweet fellowship, openness, depth of communication, and love.  Forgiveness and grace.  Joy.

 

Just something to think about next time you eat a piece of cake….  ❤

James 1:2-4  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Blessed amid Chaos

My life looks like a mess right now.  I honestly don’t know how it’s all going to work out, because all is chaos and unknown.

But I am so blessed.  I live with a husband who loves me to the best of his ability.  I also live with a cat who does a wonderful job keeping my head warm at night and giving me the gift of white noise to fall asleep to.  I spend quite a bit of my time with friends, people I trust who trust and love me in return.  I am surrounded by the beauty of snow and winter trees in their bare-branch glory.  I am usually immersed in music that is worshipful to my Savior, music I want to hear and that turns my mind to the larger picture beyond what I can see.  I have the freedom to read my Bible, I have a computer to type these blogs on.  I have clothing to wear, even if it is quite a few years old, or a bit worn-out.  There is a bit of food in the fridge- enough for today and tomorrow, at least.  I have a car to drive that usually runs well, and the physical ability to drive it.

And more than that, if all the above dissapears, I am loved by a God Who will always love me, and Who takes care of my life.  Who sees me and thinks I am important. 

And what could ever be better!?!?!

I AM SO BLESSED!!!!!